Category Archive

What a difference a week makes. Or a moment. That moment you take to remember to breathe, center yourself and bring it all back to Love.

I find it fascinating that sometimes remembering this is like breathing, automatic and second nature. Other times it is like wallowing in sticky mud and I do mean wallowing.

As a result of my own personal wallowing, I continued to ignore my own personal needs and I ended up sick. Sick in bed sick.   Not fun. At all.

What I really needed to have done instead was simply say “I would love to help you with … but I just can’t right now. Or tomorrow. I have promised myself I would take better care of myself and I am making an effort to do so.”

But I did not. So here I am instead with Kleenex, and cold meds stuck on the couch with legs that need shaving. At least it wasn’t surgery this time, that happened in December.

(Full disclosure warning). I have a very difficult time allowing myself to take care of me. When I am tired, I push on through. If my family needs something, I am there. If a job needs doing, I do it. I don’t like to ask for help so I keep going until I can’t.

More and more frequently, however, I am being shown that I have limits and up until now, I haven’t listened as well as I might have. The surgery in December was a big wake up call and this episode is a reminder that I have to “do” my life differently.

We all do. The old ways of being aren’t serving us anymore. I am sure many of you can relate to my story and others of you have your own version of things that aren’t working anymore. As we continue through this portal into the new world, heartfelt authenticity is the only baggage we can take with us.

Read that again. Heartfelt authenticity is the only baggage we can take with us.

We are so accustomed to “who” we think we are that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to let go of those ways of being that have defined us but now no longer quite seem to fit. We often forget that the rewards of being authentic are worth the uncertainty of letting go of the outworn and no longer useful.

We forget how freeing it is to be filled with possibility instead of limitations, for, after all, don’t definitions of who we believe ourselves to be limit us? Growing up, I was the smart child and my sister was the athletic one. These very labels limited both of us from any possibility of being both or even something else altogether.

I have spent much of my adult life gathering and reclaiming the bits and pieces of me that were accidentally or deliberately lost along the way. And even so, as we are now facing the potential of astounding growth, I am still finding bits that were useful but no longer fit as they once did.

And so I am told:

The caterpillar believes himself to be the finished product. He experiences the chrysalis as death, and yet he is transformed in a way he could not have imagined, predicted or even known he desired. Humankind, indeed, is no different. Transformation is a gift to be cherished and embraced but never feared. Should you find yourself drawn to something new or old and familiar but long forgotten, embrace it and welcome home a fragment of Self. The artist paints with all the known colors of the visible spectrum. Why should your growth be any different? Why limit yourself to only certain shades or palettes? The purpose of limitations is so that you might become aware of them and then ultimately choose to disregard them and see yourself as limitless. Or all the colors of the rainbow. Open your hands and allow the pieces you cling to fall away. As you do, you make room for the multi-colored wings of a butterfly and so very much more.

As I sit down to write my offering, I am really at a loss for anything to write this week. Usually, I have something poking at me that demands to be put on paper but all I can think this week is that I am tired. Between the political circus and my own personal life, I have reached a wall. As my daughter said yesterday, “I am tired of the bad guys winning all the time.” Sometimes it really feels that way.

Now, I know that is not the case, even while it may seem so. As “out there”, so inside. So yes, this all comes back to me and my own responsibility.

What has made me so emotionally and mentally exhausted is not what anyone has done, but my own reaction to these events. Both of these situations have been festering, for lack of a better word, for several years now. I have endeavored to stay focused and balanced, hoping to ride this craziness out and then everything would be ok again.

I believed this even though I knew that the breaking that is taking place is not something we just move past or get over. The old world is breaking because it has to. Its time is over and a new age is beginning. But somehow, deep inside I still hoped it would all work out.

So I toughed it out, being strong for everyone around me. Everyone that is, except for me. My physical body has taken a toll this last year and the universe has provided me with many messages that it might be time for me so stop doing what I am doing in the same old way and regroup. Or maybe just surrender…

How could I possibly do that, I wondered. I am the wise elder, the loving mother, grandmother, friend… I had to keep everyone else focused forward, trusting and having faith with wide-open hearts. I was so busy doing all of this that I completely lost myself. I thought I was taking care of mySelf, but I wasn’t. At least not in the way my Self needed.

During my fruitless attempts to channel something, I found myself worrying about how I was going to have enough energy and physical resources to entertain friends who are coming to visit in March.   It was that moment that I suddenly stopped and asked myself what I thought I was doing. My ego had run amok and I was a willing accomplice!! What a slap up the side of the head and blessed awakening…all at the same time.

And so today I am told:

Dearest one,

You have allowed yourself to be crucified in a construct of your own making. You see that now, do you not? We laugh gently at how hard you have worked to create this trap for yourself, for it is a trap and one easily escaped from when one remembers who one truly is…

You have experienced your perceived outer world as a pendulum at the outer edges of its swing before it reverses course. Similarly, you have experienced yourself as a taut rubber band stretched to the breaking point. What you have perceived “out there” as a pendulum swinging in an ever reaching arc, stretching, stretching, just a little bit more, is an illusion and nothing more, as is your own rubber band. They are only as “real” as you make them.

The intensity of your focus and attention has created a sense that if one looks away one might miss the moment “it all changes.” You have forgotten that it is all Now in this moment of time/space. The “pendulum” is swinging, has swung and will swing again. Or does not exist at all…

Time/space is subjective, you know, and the intensity of your focus makes the process you are “caught” in seem endless while your attachment to outcome creates an emotional and mental response to what you perceive as this never-ending cycle.

Far better for you to forget the pendulum and rubber band altogether and place your attention on something as simple and miraculous as your heartbeat. In the sanctity of your own heart is the simple solace you so desire. Contemplate the joys of your life and let gratitude be your wellspring. Imagine yourself awash in gratitude, bathing every cell of your body. Feel how your body, mind and spirit begin to lighten in this sacred space of immersive gratitude.

How similar gratitude is to love, is it not? For surely we say to you, they are petals on the same flower.

Sometimes the answer is so simple.

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the Light.” Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

What a week this last one was.  I don’t know about you but for me, it has been the carnival ride of a lifetime. Up, down, sideways, backwards, inside out.  At times, I have not known which way is up.

There have been moments that were incandescent and moments that made no sense at all. And here we are at the beginning of a new week and as I check in with myself, with an eye on what I might say that is of value to all of us, I discover that quite simply – all is well.

Funny how that happens these days.   Somehow, through all that we have learned and grown into, we have become the eye of the storm.  It can rage around us but how we acknowledge it is entirely up to us. There is a great deal of crazy going on “out there” right now, and it can look pretty wild.  If we can take a step or two back to gain some perspective, we see that there is a massive global clearing happening FOR all of us, rather than something that is happening TO us.  Feels a whole lot better from that viewpoint, doesn’t it?

From this vantage point, we are able to see ourselves as sovereign beings rather than as victims of circumstance.  That old Observer’s Perch serves us well, I would say.

There have been days when everything “out there” has felt so big and overwhelming, but when I stop and check in with my heart, I have been assured over and over and over that all is well and proceeding according to plan.  

For me, Pluto and Saturn right now feel very heavy and honestly, patriarchal, but I am constantly reminded that the Mothers, in all their guises, fill the heavens with their love and attendance.  There is a plan and She is the architect. Her timing is her own but I am assured that no one will question her actions when that time comes.  

I stand by my belief that Pluto will transform the patriarchy through Saturn and Jupiter will walk the transformed/upgraded Saturn the final steps home by the end of the year.   

We have a multitude of planets in the sky that did not “exist” when the astrological systems began.  These “new” planets include many who are powerfully Feminine in nature, just as many of the “old” planets (archetypes) are powerfully masculine in nature.  There is no mistake that these new planets entered our consciousness just as the Mother began her ascendency. Yes, Pluto and Saturn are starting a new cycle but it is one that is informed by the Divine Feminine in her rightful place as Queen of the Heavens and Great Mother.  She has come home to stay and all is indeed well.

Watch her closely this week.

Taking her place in the sky, She prepares to restore balance and light on Earth. Man in his egoic hubris sought to create as She does, hoping to displace Her. She stepped aside, in an effort to show him the error of his ways but stubbornly, he refused to accept the Truth of his place at Her side. He judged her loving heart as weak and denies the truth that true Creation is a gift of Love. His creation is the antithesis of all that She represents and his pride in it has further perverted his vision, leaving him spellbound and stuck in a prison of his own making.

Take no part in the outward expression of his experiment. Your attention must be focused on the beat of your heart, in eternal rhythm with Her. Within your heart, all truth is laid bare, all Love is not only available but limitless.

She is quiet in her approach, avoiding spotlight and hyperbole. That is not her way.   She approaches with open hands and heart, radiating love even as determination fuels her movement. Do not underestimate her process, do not lay expectation at her feet. Her plan is held within her own heart and she will see it through. She asks for your trust but does not require or need it. She asks for open hearts to free the way forward but has worked with less. Her love is boundless and knows no limit.

While she may be surrounded by chaos, she moves quietly, one step in front of the other, with determination and focus. She has work today, work ordained since the earth was young and new. She is here to complete that. Long she lay in abeyance, unnoticed and forgotten. In peace, she waited until the Voice within announced that the moment was here. She need not make a fuss for her path is laid out clearly and her sacred mission has begun. She need not announce or proclaim or defend. She is untouchable and cannot be defeated. She knows this, has always known this and her steps are taken with profound assurance.

We say to you that the trepidation you may be experiencing is reflective of your own circumstances at this time, as you negotiate a path that reflects her own. Search within yourselves and you will see that this is so.

You have always known she was coming. Ask your heart if this is so and you will find this truth. As she Herself has waited, so has she waited within your deepest heart. Open yourself to her and allow her to wash away all that is shadowed within you.

Step back and breathe, allowing yourself a moment to balance and open your heart. Let your heart fill with her Love. You will see that all is well and proceeding accordingly.

She is the bottom line, the fundamental truth, the secret at the Heart of All.